No More Pretending

broken minds

i'm so not into writing right now but here goes........
i dont even know how to start this......i havent really had much of anything good to say lately--so i havent said anything, but maybe my words here will inspire someone out there......or make them feel not so alone in their thoughts. for the past 3 years my life has been utter turmoil--inner tumoil i suppose. my life has gone no where up til this point and i so desperately want to change it but something stands in my way...well not always...it comes in waves, but, occasionally i slump into a major cycle of depression and anxiety--yes i'm mentally ill---and i dont care anymore who knows...i used to be scared of who knew and what they would think- only because i'm a christian and we arent supposed to get mentally ill--usually it means we arent "spiritual" enough--as some would think in their very pea-sized brains, but we are very spiritual...and sometimes i think too much. it wasnt til recently that i realized i was afraid to admit this to myself....that i have these "issues",because i didnt want to be labelled like people label people with a mental illness--would they hold it against me if i had i had some sort of "physical" ailment, something that was visible?...probly not. but the stigma is attached, and i was worried, and so much so, that it keeps a person from getting help...instead i sit there and think its all spiritual (which i believe it is both mental and spiritual as i have said before) and i should have to suffer because obvioulsy i've done something wrong, such as not prayed enough or perhaps i'm just a "bad" person....but no, its not that at all....its an illness.... and God does still love me,& this physical body is prone to getting anything, whether it be aids, hepatitis, diabetes, or clinical depression. that is LIFE. and i'm tired of people making others with these issues feel like outcasts--the WHO has reported that mental illness is universal---it can affect anyone regardless of gender, age, region, religion, or social status. i am reading an amazing book right now called "broken minds" by steve and robyn bloem...its all about steves mental illness, his recovery, and how he believes people need to drop the stigma and be supportive..... i highly recommend it to anyone suffering from major depression, or a loved one who is trying to help someone else who is dealing with it.

posted by No More Pretending @ 11:23 PM